I have a good working relationship with everyone at my current place of employment, working with several contractors, customers, and engineers. I am one of the only women which was uncomfortable for me at first. Not all men are inherently bad, but when you work in a male dominated industry, it can be a bit intimidating at times.

There’s one contractor in particular that is very nice and respectful – to my face, but not behind my back apparently. I received a text that wasn’t meant for me accidentally, but it was about me and I was referred to as an offensive term in Spanish.

When I received the text I was to meet with him in about an hour and I knew he figured out he had sent it to me and not his boss. I was nervous about the meeting but he acted no different. I haven’t said anything as of the time I’m writing this article. I want to say something but I don’t know how to word it. I want to tell my boss (who isn’t his boss) or his boss. I’m starting to think maybe this is how he and his boss talk about me when I’m not around.

It really upset me because I’ve been nothing but nice and accommodating, going out of my way to make things easier for them. I will not apologize for my sensitivity and I shouldn’t have to. Many people may say I need to ” toughen up” especially since I work with mostly men. No! It shouldn’t be up to me to not be so sensitive. People just need to respect one another. Maybe I shouldn’t work in a male dominated industry. I’m not the type to stand up for myself and that can be a problem when things like this happen.

I still haven’t decided how I’m going to handle this. My boss is on vacation until next week (of course). I want to just tell the guy that what he said is an inappropriate way to talk about me. What I’m struggling with is the fact that the text wasn’t meant for me to see. I just don’t know what to do. Any suggestions??


4 thoughts on “Disrespect

  1. Heather, I had no idea that you blog. I’m so excited. You inspire me to start blogging my tiny house process…

    I am sorry that you struggle with health issues but even more I hate that you are dealing with someone who feels the need to compromise your happy work environment. Intolerable!! If it were me, i would go directly to the source. He knows that he sent the message to you. You ignoring it just makes him think that he can continue his bad behavior. Depending on his reaction to your conversation I would then go to the boss. It is unacceptable behavior and he needs to be stopped. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Sherryl. I think that’s what I will do. I just keep going over how I’m going to word it…
      You should definitely start a blog!! I would love to see updates on your tiny house! 😊


  2. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else. I know life isn’t always fair and if you go through the procedure of bringing that up to HR (depending on how big your company is), it could long-term backfire and make things difficult – but there is no excuse for someone talking about you like that behind your back.


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